i know i have friends that will stand by me, whatever i'm feeling.
and i'm grateful for that.
i also have teachers who are willing to go the extra mile to get me to the right path.
i'm grateful to them also.

however, it has come to a point where i have really tried my best
and when results doesnt show, i feel like giving up.
giving up to the extent of "maybe i should quit school" kind of feeling
yes, some of you may say that it is dumb, but i beg to differ.
for now, i'm having the perception that i will, and never can do well in A's.
yes you can prove me wrong. some of my friends already have.
they have faith in my that i will do well.
but why dont i have faith in myself? everything starts from me right?

sigh. i have been thinking a lot. and i really mean a lot.
to the point that i cant hold it in anymore.
so i just had to let it out.
i apologise for the unglam moment. but i felt better after that.

but i cant help but think about the fearful subject we call "future"
of course, every parent dream of their child to have a bright future.
every child hope that their future will be bright and can help ease their parents' burden.
but me? i dont really know what i want to be in the future?
everyone says education is important. but to what extent will you go till you had enough of it?

i'm at the lowest point right now, so whatever that you say will not really make sense to me
wait till i have cleared my mind. and then i will slowly absorb.

i'm gonna give myself a time period of 1 month.
if it still doesnt work, maybe i should consider?

please leave a comment after reading this post.
you may want to write about what you feel after reading abt my present life.

 

so, the holidays are gone, and here comes another hectic week.
it's only the second day of the new term and i'm feeling rather lethargic.
we had a GP lecture in the centrestage in the morning.
and i believe the talk does really wake me up a little.
like, there's still time to catch up. if i dont have time to perfect my skills, i can just master it.

first day of sch was rather ok lah. new bag :D
went through a new topic for maths : Normal Distribution ; the beginning seems alright. but i guess the ending will be tougher?
then for PE, we didnt do anything except for taking attendance. i guess it was due to the weather?
but training starts on thurs :)
i wanna pass! and get it over and done with. still i think it was stupid what i did in the 5th round.
anyways, stayed behind a while after that. played truth or dare

my dare was retarded. so was maisha's. and afiqah's. qiaoying's one was quite easy.
went back home after that cos the leg decided to have rashes and was feeling

on the other hand, i'm having rather stupid thoughts about quitting school and all.
i call them stupid, cos it is stupid lah, what else right?
what i'm thinking is that, if i cant handle pre U life, how can i handle U?
is like, pre u is pre-paring you for the U.
HOWEVER, the course that i'm aiming for is Maths/Applied Maths
still, even though it doesnt require you to know about the world or something lidat, when you get into U, it means that your language is not that bad right? so i want my language to be like that :)

so anyways, back to the topic. why am i even having thoughts of quitting school?
i'm not a coward, i'm not running away from the problem.
i don't know. i think it has come to a point where i've really tried my best but it does not seem to be working.
but, i'm in year 3 alr :(

MGT, pls be my best friend :D
(just in case mr chelvam happens to read this, cher, you see, i am trying to make mgt by BFF =P)

 

I finally have the time to blog about recent events in my life.
so let's backtrack to the past 3 days.

Friday, 13th March 2009: PU3 Seminar
When you hear the word "seminar", you will think that it's going to be boring, with lots of talk.
HOWEVER, this seminar is different from the rest.
we started off with ice breaker games, which was quite funny.
then we went to the Centre stage and the talk began
we got to know our personality style, but mine wasnt given.
so i don't really know what's my personality style, but i guess i'm a high S type of person.
but my friends kept saying that i'm a high I type of person. irritating. haha.

the last 2 hours of the seminar was spent by playing games.
there were 4 games, and we started off with the numbers game.
this was when i cant stop laughing. there was this number where it wrote "squareroot of 441".
as you all know, squareroot of 441 is 21. but the asnwer was 22.
and Elvis was supposed to step on that number. and when i was about to tell him his next number, faezah was telling him about the mistake.
then when i called him, he looked at me with that angry face and said "squareroot of 441 is 21 what"
OMG i tell you, that face is so classic! even as i am writing this, i'm still laughing. hahahahaa.
then we played the aeroplane game. i feel so guilty cos i accidentally hit peijie's head. so sorry peijie!
then we played the blindfolding game. this one is another hilarious game cos i peeked at the surroundings.
there was once where i said "what time ah" then i looked at my watch and i said "545pm". faezah was another peeker also.
there were also some other moments which was darn hilarious. so i practically just laughed my way home.
till now, i still don't know my personality style, but looking at the previous results. i think i am an S. what do your think? comment on this alright?

Saturday, 14th March 2009: Meet the parents & NTU open house
MTP was quite alright. but being Mr Chelvam as he is, he will say certain kuku stuffs.
but i have a project on my own that needs to be completed.
after that, accompanied mum to JP and we had lunch and i bought my bagpack! heh heh.
it's quite big. but i loike :P
then after that, rushed home and changed and went to meet faezah to go to NTU
NTU was pretty alright. we were late for the business talk but the talk seemed boring. i wasnt really paying attention.
then we went to the faculty booths and took lots of phamplets, regardless of the course. of course i took my maths course!
so, if i am considering NTU, i might wanna go the Maths or Applied Maths course. but we shall see.

 

after that, we went to IMM to have dinner at LJS and then we walked around and took the MRT homeeeee.
i had blisters on my leg :(

Sunday, 15th March 2009 : NUS Open House
Met faezah at 2pm and we went to take the shuttle bus to NUS
hmmm, i was quite bored at NUS cos there's nothing much there.
then it began to rain heavily so faezah and i decided to go lot 1 and walked around.

 

they gave out free cokes!! and look at the way they stored the coke. in ice! cool or what?!

 

nothing much really. today is yet another rainy day. i am going to start on my project soon!!! like today!!
okay i'm gonna start now!

*why is it people always give up when they are on the verge of success?*
 

 

*faezah kpo sey behind. lol

so today, got back Maths paper.
one word for it: i was super careless lah!!!!!!!! (that's like more than one word -.-")
and i realised my mistake when i woke up from my sleep the day after the paper -.-
yes, if this was A levels, i would have killed myself.(obviously wont lah)

so it dawned to me that mistakes are inevitable not to make.
there's bound to be mistakes made by humans.
in the work, or even their lives. hmmm
food for thought.

so what i'm worried about is my management of business results.
i know i failed(expected luh)
but i want to go up for investiture :(
it's just not fair.
but then again, when is life ever fair right?
i guess i just have to convinced to thoseinconcern that i tried my hardest this time around.
and i really did.
wanna know why?
cos this time around i actually studied
like wake up in the morning to study ok!
not like previous 2 years, where i say i would wake up to study but in the end i woke up just in time to go to school for exams
its true! so yah, now you know how bad my mgt is.

or maybe if my chemistry results is okay, i can show her?
sighxzxzxzxzxzx
but malay is the biggest worry lorrrrrrrrrrrr!

how come this week is the week where i'm most exhausted ah.
and it's not even the last week,
one more week to go!

today was gooooooooooood :D i loike!
so the day started out quite okay. with maths. we did complex numbers. omg. i totally forgot how to do certain questions mah. common test how? die lah like that. maybe i'm just aiming for a pass this common test.

afterwards was GP. we had to do a timed assignment of paper 2. i can assure you that i wrote completely rubbish for every single question. i am still adapting to the environment though. GP just aint my thang.
after that was break. i hate this break cos there will be alot, i repeat, alot of people in the canteen. common break.

for management, we did the test first then continued with lesson.
then for my double break, i did the accounts test. and i'm glad i passed! i hope i can pass tmr's depreciation test as well :)

then after that was accounts then PE.
for PE, our class did the 5 stations. i'm quite proud of certain results that i got. like jumping 170++ for my sbj. that's a first! let's see. what else. oh yeah. and running 10.9 for shuttle and 63cm for sit n reach. wahahahahahha. all that i'm worried now is my 2.4 run. let's hope i can pass this since the timing is already being set lower for us girls! jiayou for me!

after that, walked to westmall with mstansixuan. before that. this kuku girl. very funny. she said if i could monkey bar and i said yes. so she went first and then i went. and guess what. her hands kena blister. ( is it called blister? ) so anyways, one hand bleed. kuku rite? so being the strong girl that she is, she tahan the pain and we walked to westmall. LOL. bought my candies and then took 173 home. after common test, more dates :D

ps. i wan a new bagpack. haha.

ok i'm too tired to blog alr. see you all tmr! comments please!!!!